Relationships & Connections Archive

We can learn much from people who continue to live productive lives into their 80s and 90s. Doctors in this demographic have a unique perspective as they have the lessons from their decades of medical practice and their personal experiences dealing with Father Time. Here, two Harvard physicians — Dr. Marshall Wolf, 87, and Dr. Mitchell Rabkin, 94 — share lessons they've learned over the decades from their practice and personal life about how they keep their body and mind strong, healthy, and thriving.

Communicating with someone with dementia can be tricky, since their ability to understand others and express themselves fluctuates and declines. Certain communication strategies can help smooth interactions between caregivers and dementia patients. They include being an active listener, avoiding confrontation, agreeing with the patient's reality, removing distractions, using shorter sentences and smaller words, asking yes-or-no questions, using written lists and schedules, and incorporating touch.

When New Year's resolutions aren't working, other strategies can help improve health habits. For example, people can set February goals instead of January goals, focusing on small changes in diet, exercise, or stress management. Another idea is including friends for added motivation and support, or working with an expert such as a personal trainer or dietitian. It might also help to follow eco-friendly habits that improve health, such as driving less and walking or cycling more and adopting a plant-based diet.

Happiness helps to lower blood pressure and stress, improve the immune system, and motivate people to be more active. Research suggests that, on average, genetics determines 50% of a person's general happiness level. However, a person's happiness is at least somewhat under their control, which suggests that even people who are not naturally happy have the power to increase their happiness. They can do this by practicing regular acts of happiness—activities linked with better mood and increasing optimism.

Prolonged grief disorder (PGD) involves 12 months or longer of debilitating grief. An estimated 7% to 10% of bereaved people experience PGD. Signs include feeling as though part of you has died, marked sense of disbelief about the death, denial or immense difficulty accepting the loss, extreme loneliness, and feeling that life is meaningless. People who are more vulnerable to PGD include women in general as well as people who lost a loved one in a traumatic or unexpected way, lost a child, or have coped with anxiety or depression. Treating PGD may involve a blend of therapies.

A 2024 study suggests that older adults who are chronically lonely are significantly more likely to have a stroke.

Many single older adults say that they are not looking for a relationship, and that hesitation may be connected to the anxiety about how to pursue a new relationship. But men should explore dating if they are interested. There are now easier ways for singles to meet, such as  online dating. Another option to meet other singles is to explore a new activity or hobby, like signing up for a class or workshop or joining a fitness group or club.